培育心灵和思想的教育

“为什么学校从来没教过我这个??“我有很多客户问我这个问题. 因为客户对自己的想法和情绪有了更好的理解, they wonder why they haven’t been taught essential life skills to manage their emotional health.

In my journey as a former elementary school teacher and now a licensed clinical psychologist, 我现在对我们的年轻人需要在课堂上学习什么有了不同的看法. 是的, 阅读, 写作, 数学也很重要, 但是培养心灵和思想的教育呢? 经常, 而不是我们告诉年轻人他们“应该”做什么, and more importantly about what reflective questions are we asking to help build resiliency.

我们不想进一步加重班主任的负担, 但也许是时候讨论一个更大的系统了, 教育目的的哲学转变. 我们看到焦虑和抑郁在学生中以惊人的速度增长, 早期干预势在必行. 不仅仅是一个一次性的项目或由学校辅导员教授的简短课程, 但是一个正在进行的, 这些技能的综合练习. 如果父母自己从来没有被教过处理焦虑或压力的技巧, 怎么能指望他们教自己的孩子呢? 在5岁的时候，学习如何写1-100和阅读30个视觉单词是最重要的吗? I believe there are skills that optimize life-long learning and socio-emotional growth for our young people.

I propose the four following concepts would benefit students’ well-being development if implemented into the curriculum. 以下每个概述是一个青少年扩展, 哪些可以用在青少年身上, who have greater peer pressure issues to address and need additional support navigating their daily lives. Also note the use of rhetorical questions and open-ended statements to prompt deeper thought and discussion.

1. 情绪调节. 学习调节情绪首先需要学习识别和识别感觉. 大多数孩子除了悲伤、疯狂和快乐之外，没有学到多少情感词汇. 学习更多情绪的名称和定义, 然后学习如何识别自己身体中各种情绪的迹象, 当孩子需要自我安慰时，帮助他们更好地了解自己. Psychoeducation about their brain can help children to self-regulate through learning about the difference between their “reacting brain” and their “thinking brain”. Teaching children to recognize warning signs in their own bodies (using an outline of a human body to draw on) is helpful to start recognizing sensations in different areas of the body. 当他们的肌肉变得紧绷意味着什么, 或者脸变热, 这是一个警告，他们需要开始调节自己的呼吸吗? 那么你的身体需要做什么呢? 也许他们可以学习膈呼吸或渐进式肌肉放松. It’s important that children are allowed this break without it being seen as “punishment” when they need a moment to better understand what is going on in their mind and body.
   
   

   青少年扩展: 本文的范围限制了我深入讨论每种技术的能力, 但是青少年可以学习和练习身体扫描, 渐进式肌肉放松, 正念和冥想技巧, 或者引导意象技术. They can also be given opportunities to write a letter to their teacher/counselor about their wishes or needs or fill in the blank sentences, “我need_____”, “我需要帮助_______”. “对我来说很难分享的是_____”. Understanding their emotions means learning and practicing processing their emotions and thoughts onto paper. Journaling has been proven to help students see and organize their thoughts more coherently.

2. 焦虑管理 -我相信每个人都需要学习情绪周期和如何思考, 感情, 行动是相互关联的. 这些都是基本的认知行为治疗技术. 许多人认为他们所有的想法和感觉都是100%真实的，而事实上, 我们的感觉往往不是事实. 如果某人感到不值得或缺乏, 这种感觉并不能证明这些想法是真实的. 我们的思想影响我们的情绪和行为. 如果我认为“我要考不及格了”，那么我的情绪会如何呢? 这会让我更加焦虑吗?接下来会有什么行为? 它会让我心跳加速，让我想要逃避上学吗? Children should learn about the many different types of unhealthy thought patterns (also called thought distortions/cognitive distortions) so they can learn to identify and break unhealthy mental habits before it becomes a lifelong issue. Young children can learn about the “anxiety bully” and ways to challenge negative automatic thoughts. Recognizing thought distortions will help kids learn to “think about their thinking” (metacognition) which is much more difficult than it sounds. 我的许多成年客户如果没有持续的练习就无法做到这一点!
   
   

   青少年扩展: 再一次，青少年可以学会认识到什么是思想扭曲.e. 孤注一掷的思考, 预测未来, 并学会在自己的日常思想生活中认识到这些扭曲. 他们可以了解焦虑循环和焦虑触发因素. Tracking examples on a notes app on their phone or in a journal can be a powerful way for 青少年 to catch the unhealthy self-talk or thought distortions and make it a healthy habit to monitor their anxiety. 父母 can also track their own negative thought patterns and share with their children ways to challenge the negative thoughts. 让我惊讶的是，在我的实践中, 我看到青少年在上AP微积分, 但要努力识别或认识自己的消极思维模式.

3. 快乐与幸福 -孩子们需要学习积极心理学的研究. 什么是快乐和幸福? 是指取得好成绩吗, 赚了很多钱, 保持苗条和健康, and owning the latest video games or designer shoes or are these myths that need to be dispelled. Learning about proven strategies to find authentic happiness will most definitely increase well-being and learning. 健康的孩子学得更好. Research shows that teaching children about the power of expressing gratitude through a journal/out loud, 每天做好事, 有使命感, 保持专注和当下, 享受每一天的经历, and building and connecting in healthy social relationships can lead to increased happiness and well-being. Perhaps these strategies can be integrated into morning meetings to check in on sharing acts of kindness or having a gratitude circle on a regular basis.
   
   

   青少年扩展: 也许我们可以每天练习一下，分享每天的感恩之情, 善良的项目, 或正在进行的日志记录这些活动. Perhaps students can start “Happiness Clubs” to promote activities that help boost well-being. Brainstorming with 青少年 about their core values and strengths can be a starting point to recognizing what truly matters to them individually. 然后他们可以学习如何将他们的价值观和行动联系起来.

4. 批判性地分析社交媒体. It is crucial for children to understand the impact social media has on their brains and hearts. 即使是成年人, modeling for our children and “talking aloud” about the thought process behind our decisions can be a helpful way to build critical thinking skills. 向孩子们承认，把自己和别人比较是很自然的, 但在什么情况下会是过度或不健康的呢? An exercise for kids to practice would be to think about what social media/marketing is telling them they “need” while on the flip side, 他们认为自己生活中最“需要”的是什么. 这鼓励孩子们反思自己的价值观.
   
   

   青少年扩展: 我的许多青少年客户告诉我，Instagram让他们事后感觉很糟糕. It gives them FOMO (fear of missing out) and makes them feel like everyone is out doing something more fun than them. 向青少年提出的问题. 每个Instagram模特/网红真的那么完美和美丽吗? 被炫耀的产品和奢侈品真的是幸福的必需品吗? Snapchat上的每个人真的都在过着最好的生活吗? 是不是每个人都比他们更开心? Is it realistic and healthy to constantly desire and want the lifestyles that are portrayed? 在一个美的标准已经无法达到的时代, our children need to be able to recognize and challenge the often insidious messages that bombard us about beauty, 财富, 成功, 和幸福. 和年幼的孩子一样, it would be important for 青少年 to reflect on their own values and strengths and what social media is “trying to sell”. 他们真的需要更多的XYZ来寻找幸福吗?

通常，我们给出的答案并不重要, 更多的是关于我们要求年轻人反思和学习的问题. 再一次。, I often wonder what is the purpose of education and should the purpose of education shift as the mental health and well-being of students shift as well? 如果我们希望我们的年轻人健康，那么我们不应该教他们如何健康吗?

卡洛琳C. 李博士曾是一所公立学校的小学教师. 在过去的十年里，她一直是一名持牌临床心理学家. 她目前在纽波特比奇私人执业, 她在加州看孩子, 青少年, 父母, 和家庭. 她在师范学院获得教育学硕士学位, 哥伦比亚大学，斯坦福大学教育心理学博士. 卡洛琳对教育的交叉点充满热情, 心理学, 以及我们年轻人的幸福. She is currently working on creating a happiness and well-being curriculum she hopes to implement in elementary, 中间, 还有高中.